One day in the 21st Century, God went unto Noah, who was living in the U. S. in Harlem, NY-and said, "Again, the earth has become wicked. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing and a few good humans."

He gave Noah instructions, "You have 6 months to build it before I start the storms."

Six months later, God looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard-but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, God," begged Noah, " but I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the code inspector.

" I know you want decent humans-so I tried to test for those who are reasonably healthy. This will take a long time because most are filled with drugs of one kind or another.

"And if all that is not enough-the Dept. of Homeland Security has me under investigation for plotting to kidnap citizens.

"And you may have heard about the pathetic way FEMA handled the folks in the Super Dome after a hurricane. FEMA won't let me do any type of rescuing.

"So, forgive me, Great One, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said God. "This is a new situation red tape beat me to the punch. Renewal may require a more ancient solution."